Tag:

reflection

Discipline is destiny!
Journals

Discipline Is Destiny!

by Yasin Ghasemi

Hello, hello, hello!

Yesterday was a very lazy day. I woke up at about 9 AM, left Parisa’s house, and went for a run. I didn’t eat almost anything, just a spoonful of honey, and it felt really bad during the run because I was hungry all along the way.

I came home, ate my brunch, and because I was still hungry, I ate my lunch a few minutes later. I had a nap. I woke up and felt absolutely terrible. Sometimes, in the middle of the day, I see the need for a nap to refresh my mind, but if the nap lasts for more than 20 minutes, I wake up feeling really bad, like I was beaten up. It’s a really bad feeling, and aside from that, you suddenly get that rush that you are behind your schedule and need to do everything just to be on schedule. That’s a really bad feeling, so yesterday, I had this bad feeling all evening.

I talked with Pouya about BluLexi. He asked me to help him code the backend. It’s a bit challenging for me because, first, I don’t have the confidence, and second, I don’t even know where to start. Pouya can help me with the second part, but the first part is about confidence; only you can help me have better confidence. So, the plan for today is to write a script for user authentication. I don’t know if I can do it today or if it will take longer, but I will do my best.

Being self-disciplined is absolutely necessary if one wants to succeed in one’s life. At the same time, I have discovered that self-discipline is one of the most difficult virtues a person can adopt. Being punctual, being organized, and having humility are also very important virtues, but I believe practicing them is much easier than self-discipline.

I don’t know if this applies to everyone or is just me, but I can be more disciplined when someone else tells me what to do. It would be a challenge if I want to organize my life for myself because I often cannot perform based on the agenda or the schedule I make up for myself. Maybe the problem is with the schedule I mentioned, but I often procrastinate and don’t do things the way I should. Actually, I do them on a really good day, but I do not deliver them in a timely manner.

BluLexi and being out of employment simultaneously teach me how to be more organized and develop some kind of self-discipline. If I want to succeed in any aspect of my life, I believe self-discipline is very important, so I’m taking it really seriously these days by coming here, writing my journals, and going for daily runs because these two things help me stay on track, and I can hook my schedule for the important stuff to these things. For example, I start reading about important and necessary articles for BluLexi right after I wake up and before I go for a run or immediately make a small to-do list before journaling. These small things have helped me to stay on track, although I am very much behind my schedule, and today is Friday.

Fridays are off in Iran. We have decided to launch the next version of BluLexi today, and I feel like a student who hasn’t done his homework all week and should deliver all of it right now. So today’s a very busy day.

Let’s focus and do the tasks one by one
See ya

0 comment
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestEmail
A joyful run with Afrooz, and talking about the role of commitment in life.
Journals

Commitment Chronicles: Embracing the Run of Life

by Yasin Ghasemi

Good morning, beautiful people. Today unfolded with a remarkable start as I embarked on a refreshing run alongside my coach and newfound running companions, eager amateurs embarking on the journey of learning to run. The joy of encountering familiar faces from the past further heightened the experience, creating a sense of camaraderie.

Our 5K run with Afrooz took an unexpected turn in the middle of our route as a gentle drizzle began to fall, casting a serene ambiance over our journey. Amidst the rhythmic pattering of raindrops, our conversation flowed freely, touching on a myriad of topics, including some light-hearted gossip about our fellow running enthusiasts. These recovery runs, filled with friendly chats, have become cherished moments of connection.

Yet, beneath the surface of this uplifting day, a subtle undercurrent of sadness prevailed. The weight of uncompleted tasks, neglected in the past few days, cast a shadow. I found myself frozen and unproductive, unable to face my responsibilities until the late afternoon. Only then did I rally, delving into a data set for BlueLexi with determination.

The paradox of being busy but unproductive emerged as a personal challenge, one I grapple with despite a full plate of commitments. The looming coding project, particularly unappealing and devoid of passion, stood as a formidable task that demanded attention.

As I reflect on today’s run, which, while not intensive, left me in need of rejuvenation, I contemplate the day ahead. A soothing shower and a wholesome breakfast set the stage for confronting the less glamorous side of my routine—the coding project. Though lacking in intrinsic motivation, I recognize the need for commitment to propel me forward.

Drawing parallels to my recent marathon training, I acknowledge the inevitable fade of initial passion, replaced by fatigue. In such moments, commitment emerges as the unwavering force that prevents surrender. This realization becomes crucial as the motivation for BluLexi development and coding project completion rapidly wanes.

However, the impending release of the new version of BluLexi on Friday injects a renewed sense of purpose. Pouya’s commendable efforts in managing various aspects of the project, from the website to user interface, contribute to the overall momentum. With two looming deadlines this week—for BluLexi and the coding project—I set my sights on overcoming these challenges, striving for a triumphant update when we reconvene.

See you soon, beautiful people.

0 comment
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestEmail
Journals

Getting Behind, Getting Ahead: A Personal Journey of Transition

by Yasin Ghasemi

Good day everyone.

Yesterday at 6 pm, I had an online tutoring session. Right at the start, my student said he didn’t wanna continue since he had to go to work and didn’t have time. And I said OK. Right now I’m officially unemployed. Hadn’t been like this in a very long while.

I can say that in the past 10 years, I have actively been working. I might have worked part-time, but I have been working nevertheless. It feels weird. And I see it as a sign. A sign that reads, “Work on your own stuff, boy.” Yes, I should work on my own stuff.

I went to Postex yesterday to collect my personal belongings. I saw my old colleagues and said goodbye to them. It was surreal. It wasted a lot of time just going there and returning home. I went for a run after going to Postex. I went to the Azadi sports complex. It had been a while since the last time I was there. The run gave me good feelings.

I came back home and had an online session with Pouya. We talked back about a possible backlog for developing BluLexi. We’re using Trello to manage this project. Until I went to sleep, I was busy adding the backlog to Trello and reading about the usage and rate limits of OpenAI. That was yesterday.

This morning, I went to Pas Stadium to run a track session with the coach and a few of my mates. I broke my 1 mile PR, shaving 11 seconds off my previous record. It felt good. I returned home and had some breakfast. I took a nap. But the nap turned into a 3-hour sleep! It’s around 2 pm right now.

Aside from running and setting a new PR, I haven’t done anything fruitful about my day. And that makes me sad. I’m sad because I feel like I’m much behind my schedule. Whenever that happens, whenever I get behind my schedule, I feel like the matter I’m worried about is a lost cause, like my coding project. I had set to finish it off by the end of this week. It’s the third day of the week, and I haven’t even opened the file to see what’s happening.

I’ve been like that most of my life. It’s just basically a vicious cycle of fear of being left behind, getting sad for not doing what I had to do, watching a movie or getting busy with something trivial, getting even sadder, getting tired and going to bed, waking up the next day being the saddest, start repeating the cycle.

What the fuck, man? Why the fuck am I like this? I’m not a loser – that I’m sure of. But why do I behave like this? Why am I so much afraid of not doing something, that I completely stop doing that? It doesn’t make sense! When people are left behind, they just do their best to get ahead. Isn’t that the logic? Why do I quit so fast when I get behind? Does this look counterintuitive to me, or is it really counterintuitive?

Spending so much time on this post is another way to procrastinate. I have to stop that. Let’s get to work, baby.

See you tomorrow with some good news.

0 comment
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestEmail
Shocks come in all sizes and shapes. But it is an art to remain stoic and respond wisely.
Journals

Being Dismissed: The Start of a New Chapter in My Life

by Yasin Ghasemi

I have much to talk about today!

Yesterday started all well: a cold but lovely autumn working day. I arrived first at work. I immediately came here to write my journal. Made a short to-do list for the 5-hour workday. Had some breakfast. And started working. 

At around 9 am, the CEO furiously replied to one of my text messages in a group chat and belittled all of us. I was shocked and angry. How does a person – CEO of a company here -almost unaware of a matter, think they have the right to shout out at others? He wrote his messages in the group chat, but I was reading the messages with his shouting voice.

I sent a text message to our marketing director. I told her we needed to talk. She didn’t reply. I left her a message saying the CEO needed to know he was wrong and didn’t have to shout at us. It finished work and left the company. She called, and we talked about it for a bit. She was upset, too.

Later, the Chairman of the Board called. He started talking about SEO optimization. I was like, dude, I’m not the owner of this shit at work; you’ve reached the wrong person. Then suddenly, he said I was fired and wasn’t performing well at work. I was fucking fired over a phone call! I admit I was shocked a bit. I didn’t see that coming. At least, I thought if I ever got fired, I’d get a warning before it, not that I was fired like I’d committed a violent crime. I felt like Sam Altman. It gave me some stupid confidence.

I remained stoic. I wanted to quit for a long time. A few weeks after getting hired, I witnessed things that made me rethink my employment. But I had to stay there because of my military service. I had plans to leave the company after serving in the military. So, it is almost a month before I go to serve in the military, and I have become jobless.

I didn’t do much. I just came home, relaxed, and shared this news with my parents and close friends. This was just on time. I needed one month to handle some personal matters. And this time was given to me on a silver platter. I was happy. It is time to rest and recover. It is time to publish an academic paper. It’s time to morph BluLexi into something serious. It’s time to focus on me more than ever. Let’s aim for the best and shoot for the moon.

Let’s see what happens tomorrow. 

2 comments
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestEmail
Journals

Chronicles of a New Journaler

by Yasin Ghasemi

Hi everyone 👋🏼

This is my very first journaling experience. I’ve planned to come here and write about my routines on a daily basis. I’m curious to know how long I can hold it and to see if I can make it a habit. So, the plan is to write about the previous day and lay the plan for the day ahead.

Let’s talk about today. Today, I’m very excited as I’m writing my first journal. I’m working on a project and it has turned out to be fruitful, bringing deep satisfaction. The morning run was joyful, a short yet intensive session. I should mention that I misunderstood the workout plan, running less than intended! But I still enjoyed it.

The focus of running workouts from now on is trying my best to do negative splits. What it is, I’ll explain another time. That intensive workout, though brief, made me slightly sleepy. So, I’m calling all pop icons to come to my rescue! Short music sessions help me get energetic; I’m unsure if it’s true for everyone.

About the day ahead of me, I have so much on my plate; both in my personal life and my job. Job-related, there are some shitty tasks that I need to handle. I don’t wanna nag about them right now and right here – I’m trying my best not to. Let’s talk about the personal stuff I should organize today.

I have to start working on the residuals of my thesis paper. After my graduation, I planned to write an academic paper. GPT significantly optimized my code and made it publishing-ready. However, a small part remained incomplete, causing my interest in the project to wane.

It’s time to refocus and complete it today. I believe it won’t be too challenging and can be finished in an hour or two. The urgency has set in, and I must prioritize this task. It’s my top priority, and I’m determined to finish it today 🤞🏼.

So, that’s it for today.
Until tomorrow 🎩

0 comment
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestEmail